RytusOfVa
That said, this sounds like a shitpost. Syntax and morphology aren't solved problems for natlangs, and while Lojban's parsing might be messy, it is nonetheless far less ambiguous than English.
Maybe a few Lojban words will enlighten you as to the power of the language?
{ga'i} a marker for formal rank and formal register/diction
{ko'a} a variable
{goi} reassign names and variables
{ce'u} a marker for holes under {ka} abstractions
{ka} definitely not lambda! An abstractor for relations
{ti'e} "I hear that..." a marker for unverifiable hearsay
{da'i} "supposing..." a marker for counterfactuals
Finally, here's something that SSC doesn't have (yet?), a tutorial: https://mw.lojban.org/papri/la_karda
{oi mabla skami} "Ugh, fucking computers."
{po'o fi'ure lo ro pipno ku zasti} "Only half of all pianos exist."
{cicricfoi bartu} "It's a jungle out there."
{lo se tsarainaitrusi'o ku ta'e na'e pensi} "Fascists typically aren't thinking."
{za'a bridi} "I observe the nature of some logical relation, probably uttered or written somewhere."
Suppose I utter {mi do tavla .i ba go'i}. {ba go'i} means "the previous utterance, logically, but with a future tense". English has no satisfactory translation for this entire phrase; the closest we might come is, for example, "I'm talking with you. In the future."
I wonder whether there are any good classes of learnable patterns. In, say, the continued fractions, or the decimal deals, there is a fine but essential line between patterns of coefficients with repetands, and those which do not repeat.