Ha! I like that idea. But ordinary things have a history of being outlandishly ornamented, usually to show off wealth. People have been buying this crap for millennia. The Amish actually banned buttons(!), not because they want to look funny with hooks and zippers, but because in the 1800's it became a fad to have enormous brass buttons with inlay and ivory and embossed scenes. They rebelled against the pride and wastefulness.