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A comment on The days are long but the decades are short. Parent comment

Re:The days are long but the decades are short by noname123 on Tuesday April 28, 2015 @05:21PM (#9455241)
Really interesting point. I listened to 'Q on CBC' where they recently featured a guest where she talked about how the world is pitted parents vs. child-free couples.

I think the "us against them" mentality is where the child-free peeps are seen as narcissistic individuals who don't take on this important responsibility. Her argument was that it's kinda of a false dichotomy, and there are plenty of ways for child-free couples to contribute to society while parents by definition, have to have priorities of their children taking place over society at large.

Not to mention it is facetious to say that parents are selfless in the first place as there are many selfish reasons to have children.

However, I'd love to hear more about people who decided not to have children and whether they felt like they have contributed to society in some other way, whether by their works, their association with their associates or associates' childrens.

[ Parent | on HN ]
Re:The days are long but the decades are short by malnourish on Tuesday April 28, 2015 @07:45PM (#9455780)
My partner and I (heterosexual relationship) have both independently decided to not have children. Personally, I was raised at first with an abysmal parent, and then by a slightly-better-but-still-not-good parent. Never had money, homeless, abusive, etc.

I don't want to have kids not because they left a bad taste in my mouth (I still love them: they were young, made a mistake, but still tried), but because I never got to experience all the things I wanted to as a child. So my life as a 20/30 something is dedicated to experiencing the world. Finding joy in others, in travels, in food, and in contribution.

That said, if children were ever to be an option, it must be adoption. It is so incredibly selfish to say that the (non-existent) child you might produce with a partner is more deserving of safety, freedom, and a fulfilling life, than an already living person. Granted, adoption is full of its own political and socioeconomic issues.

[ Parent | on HN ]
Re:The days are long but the decades are short by zeroonetwothree on Tuesday April 28, 2015 @11:22PM (#9456310)
Children are actually a great way to experience what you missed in childhood.
[ Parent | on HN ]
Re:The days are long but the decades are short by malnourish on Wednesday April 29, 2015 @12:01AM (#9456427)
Perhaps you are right, but I also want to experience what my parents never did.
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Re:The days are long but the decades are short by TheOtherHobbes on Tuesday April 28, 2015 @07:57PM (#9455827)
I decided not to have kids because my take on the near-term likely future isn't entirely optimistic, and I don't want to risk being right.

Regardless, I have a serious driving interest in making that future better. I have no idea if it's as much motivation as a parent has, but it's still a very big motivator.

[ Parent | on HN ]
Re:The days are long but the decades are short by spydum on Tuesday April 28, 2015 @09:44PM (#9456113)
the real beauty when you realize it, is your kid could be the one to change that pessimistic future. the responsibility is on you to instill the values and train them up to be your idealized future. because who else will do it??
[ Parent | on HN ]