Of course it's possible they didn't mean to equate programming skill with masculinity. That doesn't mean that they don't need to update their vocabulary--just like those those elderly people I know who still use words like "negros" to refer to black folks.

Sometimes, the world changes, and it's up to us to keep up with the times.

(It's funny, I bet you anything if the original author had said "this negro gentleman at my workplace...", no one would be defending his retrograde use of language.)

You’re not wrong, but we’re arguing about different things, and I’m not sure how I can make myself clear.

I think they didn’t mean to equate programming skill and masculinity. I also think they should be more sensitive in how they speak. I also think it’s dishonest to ignore the fact that one can be true without the other.

Furthermore, “manly man” is a wacky satirical caricature of “real man”, a problematic stereotype. “Negro” is just a problematic stereotype. I think we should find a better comparison, but one doesn’t come to mind.

Actually, I think you've hit on something important: you're saying "manly man" is wacky and humorous, but "negro" is problematic. The only difference here and now is how it's no longer acceptable, at all, to play on race stereotypes, not like it was 50 years ago.

Times change, and we can either keep up, or we can let ourselves becomes relics from an earlier era.

“Negro” was never humorous, as far as I know—it was just the name for a black person, or more accurately “a black”, through the lens of the culture at the time that dehumanised them by identifying them solely with their skin colour. However, I do see your point and I agree that it’s important to change with the times and adapt our language to the new, and hopefully more enlightened, cultural and historical context.