I'm sure the old people I know who still refer to black folks as "negros" don't mean anything by it. I also bet the people who throw around "gay" as a generic pejorative aren't thinking of actual gay people when they use the word as an insult. That doesn't make either one acceptable here in the 2010s.

Same with telling a woman that doing something "manly-man" style is doing it skillfully.

And even if you know it's going to be taken as humorous, let me give you a hint: it's not very funny. It's just not very good as humor. There is much better material out there if you're going for a joke.

I am black and would not be offended if someone referred to me as a negro, if they mean no offense, then I take no offense.

I've been referred to as African American, Afro American, colored, person of color, black, negro, etc. It makes no difference to me personally. Unless intended otherwise, it's just a point of reference.

Would you say that your personal experience is generalizable to many/most people of color?

If, say, someone from another company who's visited your offices for a day later refers to you as "that negro in product development," would it be typical that other people of color would take no offense at that use of language?

I'm curious about it. I don't have that lived-in experience, so all I can do to understand is ask and listen.

I have customers from Latin America and negro in Spanish simply means black.

Why would I ruin my day and relationship with someone by taking offense to a word when there was no malice intended?

That may be, but I would appreciate if you could also lend me your insight into the questions I had asked.