I am the first face on our application video. We did that to set us apart from the rest of the videos.
I'm done with my applications, and confident that we made good applications for the people that we initially thought were going to review them... but not for unknown founders whose personal biases we are unaware of, but I can only assume based on my personal experiences with men in tech.
Re: "chip on my shoulder" would you be offended if your peers wouldn't look you in the face? how about if they re-asked your business partners the same questions they asked you, only to get the same response?
I really don't think this has anything to do with your gender. Networking and just speaking to people is surprisingly difficult. If you are already expecting people not to speak to you properly then you will be giving loads of negative body language saying that you are unconfident.
I know because I have been in the same situation many times. My background in pharmaceuticals, and when I turn up to conferences I am about 10-20 years younger than everyone else. I feel incredibly paranoid about it and my lack of self-confidence is quite obvious. I just feel "unimportant". I've even had organiser laugh at me when they realised I was one of the speakers at a conference. They told me I was too young! Yeah, that really set me up well for that conference!
When I go to technology and PR/marketing events I feel great as I fit in with people there and it is so much easier to network and discuss our startup.
Things like Astia will give you guidance on pitching. I;m sure some of the skills are transferable in to networking.
I even have my own event production company in New York City. I'm excellent at speaking with people.
I still need work on pitching, but I have no problem talking to everyone... since that's crucial in my other line of work.
wrt to asking your co-founders the same questions, my guess is that you are so paranoid about the "not looking in the eyes" thing that you appear unconfident and unsure, so people look to your co-founders for confirmation.
Apologies if it came across as offensive.
From what I've read about the differences between men and women, women are MUCH MUCH more likely to pick up subtle body language gestures compared to men and try to analyze what they mean. Try not to take these things personally. Many times it might not even have anything to do with you.
my co-founder (jlees) is XX. She was the face on our application video last time and we got invited over for an interview. I've no idea if Jessica was the one that looked at the video - to be honest the thought never crossed my mind that it might help us get to interview stage.
Lose the chip from your shoulder and just concentrate on making a confident, compelling application. :)