I see no mention in your post of whether she's happier now, or whether you believe you're capable of making her happy. I think that's indicative of your relationship problem: you're focused only on yourself, even after a supposed epiphany about how selfish you are.

Also, why are you posting this here? It has nothing to do with hacking. If you don't have any close friends that you could say these same things to, you should see a counselor. There's no shame in it -- we all need help sometimes.

Excessive drinking is only going to result in feeling worse and, most likely, more alienation.

This is harassment. You must stop. She could get a court order to force you to stop but fuck that why should she pay to stop your harassment?

>after I secretly saw my ex girlfriend that I refused to place boundaries on and refuse to not see

Oh. So you not only failed to communicate to your lady-friend but was also imprudent enough to see this outcome.

I don't see a problem in seeing exes(if that's not a funky american idiom for having sex which). I see a problem in people exploiting fears of other people to get what they want.

So communicate this to both the parties. He kept it a secret. What will present friend think of it? Don't be a selfish idiot in a relationship.

You want an advice? Get out of your home, then think. And not the other way around.