I don't think all Christians are in "healthy, constructive, no-judging, be-yourself communities", and it sounds like you haven't had any exposure to one of those. I mentioned calling people on their crap in another post, and I've called Christian friends out for bigotry before. Part of a constructive relationship involves correcting people in a healthy and safe environment.

It's certainly not biblical to hate or judge anyone. That also means I can't hate or judge people for their hateful or judgmental attitudes. But it's not worth diving into a particular community steeped in those problems either.