I've started thinking it's harmful because it gets brought up in every damn debate as though just making reference to it is enough to signal that you have thought critically about the issue.

Fiction is cultural commentary, and 1984 is designed by its author, specifically, to engage the culture in the discourse regarding the rights of the individual versus the needs of the state. To take 1984 literally is to lose the plot entirely; to consider it an analog of the human condition - like so many other works of literature, both fiction and non-fiction - is the point entirely. 1984 has as much relevance now as it ever has, and should be required reading for everyone - not just school kids - who care about the state of their cultures in the future.

While I don't think I disagree with any of that, I do think my observation stands and that 1984 should be less stressed in these discussions.

Note that I didn't say that I think the book is harmful, but the focus on it.

Why do you think the focus itself is harmful? Does 1984 in some way detract from the issue of state control over personal lives, or is it the hubris of the issue that makes it so difficult .. because if you're referring to the hubris, I can understand that. Its a kind of fatigue that sets in when 1984 is brought up, over and over again, and people stop paying attention to the real issue because the pop-culture knee-jerk reaction is to devalue the message due to the fatigue of no solution. There is no solution to 1984; its a dire conundrum with no end, and I think this is a source of definite stress in the issues.. the book itself does not discuss a solution. However, discussing the book is a solution, because it brings the issue to a point where an individual can be aware that they have to always be vigilant against state intrusion.

But this is not always the case - for the younger generations who are not familiar with the issue, 1984 is a very important piece of literature. For those of us who have suffered decades of ignominy over the crimes of our governments, sure: fatigue is the issue. But, we must never be willing to put our freedoms aside, for a little relief from repression. Always be aware, and always fight back!

Use the Stasi as a plausible real life example instead

1984 is harmful because government agents get inspired by ideas in the book.