Exactly. The fast "no" is better than the long "maybe". [1]

Insistence on an NDA without payment is a factor in qualifying leads. Only qualified leads are "potential clients" [and only payment converts a potential client into a client].

Initial unwillingness to open the checkbook to pay for a freelancer's effort is a red flag because paying in exchange for effort is the very essence of the client-freelancer relationship. Clients who have an issue with this relationship at the beginning correlate with clients who have an issue with paying at the end.

[1]: https://hbr.org/2010/04/how-to-get-to-no/

I tried this today mixed with some other comments. Here are my results and where I currently stand. Any feedback would be great.

Me: Sends preliminary project proposal based off of vague details to my referral.

Referral: Sends me NDA and introduces me to the potential client.

Me: "The 5 year NDA length is longer than I will agree to. Is there a reason for the excessive length? I will agree to a 1 year term." After doing this I did more research on what to do.

Potential Client: Nice to meet you. The NDA of 5 years is very standard stuff. All of our partners do sign this agreement. Hope you can too. Thanks. I would like to discuss the estimate so that I do understand all. Thanks again. I would look forward to working with you.

Me: "Why do you specifically need the NDA? I'm worried that it's written broadly and will restrict my creativity.

I'm going to have my lawyer take a look at it and get back to you in the next few weeks."

Me: Sent another message after thinking a little more. "I want my lawyer to make modifications based on the specific needs. I may require additional compensation to sign, especially a 5 year contract.

Please let me know your additional questions for the proposal. We can setup a time to talk tomorrow afternoon or I could answer the questions in more detail over email."

Potential Client: Thanks for your feedback. We are in very preliminary stages on this. I wouldn't go any further until we have had more internal meetings and have a chance to to provide more specifics. Thanks for your time.

Oy vey. It seems like you're using many strategies at once, so I'm not sure what results I'd expect. For me, this kind of conversation needs to take place in-person, and needs to be framed as a "yes I'll do it, but..." not a "no I won't do it unless..."

I think, big picture, if you want to salvage this client (who seems to be moving on) you might wanna just get in the same room as them and start saying yes a lot. And you want to have this conversation last, after they're already super excited about the project and ready to get started.

Out of interest how much would you charge to sign an NDA? I guess it depends on the content but what do you think is reasonable?

Anything that hurts, really. Depends on the context of the conversation. I usually go for the equivalent of a few hours of my time + the actual costs I would incur if I had a lawyer look at it. The price isn't supposed to stop them in their tracks, just make them think twice about "Do I really need this guy to sign this or am I being silly?"

Simple, clever!