Would you consider moving?

If you could move to San Francisco, you most certainly would get a job, junior or not. Then improve.

Surely you understand how unrealistic this is. I mean, it's so unrealistic that "unrealistic" is almost a comical understatement. Why not just go all the way and say, "If you could just win the lottery and grow a set of beautiful, angelic wings, you could be a very wealthy, flying programmer."