But if you're hunt a peck QWERTY typist who decides to pick up touch typing, choosing an ergonomic layout like Dvorak or Colemak makes sense. You're essentially staring from zero anyways so you're not wasting much time on the layout anymore so than you would on the QWERTY layout.
This way, you retain your two-finger QWERTY skills while learning a layout that minimizes the odds of developing RSI.
I agree that good typing skills do not necessarily make you a more productive programmer. But I do find that it is a skill that compliments other programming skills nicely. It's also nice for countless other parts of my workflow that do not include programming.
That being said, you will never know the benefits of touch typing if you can't touch type. You seem to be threatened by the thought of it being a valuable skill so I won't try to convince you otherwise.
> there are literally thousands of things you can do that will be much more useful than learning to touch type dvorak.
You could say this about any skill or hobby. You are not the arbiter of usefulness. Plenty of people have derived utility from learning to touch type Dvorak or Colemak. You're writing them off out of pure ignorance.
Being someone who did that, yes I would say so and recommend against it. However one thing I can say about it is that it (Colemak to be specific) felt legitimately more comfortable, having all the most frequently pressed keys on the home row. If you're suffering from RSI it might help.
I too bounced between Vim and Emacs until recently I decided to stick with Emacs. I too switched to Dvorak, later switching to Colemak. I used a typing tutor software with which I was actually able to get up to a respectably 50-60 WPM if I remember correctly. However I eventually switched back to Qwerty after growing tired of keyboard shortcuts never working the way they were supposed to. Sure I could rebind them in my favorite editor (and even that was a pain in the ass) but each time I installed something new I'd have to do it again. One thing I am grateful for from Colemak is rebinding Caps lock to Control, what a great idea.
I've also been dabbling between C, Lisp, C++, Python, Bash, and a few others, but I never really became really good at any of them. It was more than just the OPs 50-page dabble (something like 400 pages into C++ Primer) but I feel like I can relate. Sure I can write basic programs in all of them but I didn't have a "default" so to speak that I've mastered. Only recently I made the decision that Python would be that default. The reasoning behind it is simple, I already kinda knew it and it fit my use case well. I just wanted to do stuff with the language and Python makes it easy with its wealth of libraries and (in my opinion) intuitive structure. Stuff like Lisp and Haskell still have a place in my heart because of how elegant they are, but I just feel more productive in Python.
That's my sort of ongoing story of getting at what I feel is the same kind of focus the OP was talking about. Now if only I could just settle on a Linux distro instead of hopping around every few months (currently messing around in Slackware, though I suspect I'd be better off switching back to Ubuntu which I was using before I switched to Slackware).