If you desire a "simpler and cleaner [interface] than the later windows versions and is easy to use for things of peripheral interest to me, like browsing", may I suggest DSL[1] or Puppy[2]? Both are simple and clean interfaces with modern linux drivers. Puppy has a slightly nicer interface.

However, it sounds to me like you don't like Linux due to it's lack of soft modem drivers. If that's the case, I don't think you're judging this software fairly, as a hardware modem is available for less than the price of a windows license.

[1]http://www.damnsmalllinux.org/

[2]http://www.puppylinux.org/