Heh. Yeah, I'm a little bitter. I don't see life as all bad, but I know there is a lot of suffering in it. Not all life is beautiful - just like most people are non-evil, but a few of them, they are.

And dude. My own comfort levels? I moved across an ocean and married a man that practices chaos magick (I wound up reading some stuff, and am starting to practice. There was no pressure). I already had Discordian philosophies. I am lucky, and privelidged enough to have a level of freedom beyond what I thought I wanted... and I wouldn't give it up. But you are right. I value my own happiness above power, I'd only take the power over being happy temporarily. Poking at things behind the scenes is just as much fun, even if there is no real power in it.