I struggle myself with why I think I have to be a programmer. More and more I feel like "what am I trying to prove?" when I suffer from the same nagging imposter syndrome and self doubt. If you don't like it as much, don't do it. Go for what makes you happy, relaxed, and fulfilled. Not what you think you should be doing. I'm sure you'll end up with something that takes advantage of your existing skills with software and your aspirations to work more with your hands.