I have a similair story, as I child I never liked taking meds or how it effected me, I refused to take a blood test one day and was removed from treatment, I'm now 26, recently I tried matcha (green tea powder) and found it to be much better then coffee as it's a stimulant & relaxant (no crash, very calming and alert). I also found as I got older it got easier to manage, it also left me with the ability to hyperfocus when I'm in the zone working.