There, solved it. So now that's over and done with, can we find something else to satisfy your intellect, not mysteries that are only a mystery because the investigation isn't complete yet.
You forgot the 'intellectual' part. Penguins are in the Southern Hemisphere, unless you count zoos.
Dammit I haven't made those yet either. Supervillanry is hard :(
P.S. You pointed out the most logical flaw in an illogical conspiracy theorist dig, I feel quite honoured.
And yet, it is possible to stretch it to make it look like it belongs to hackers news: trying to resolve a mystery is like hacking through the fog surrounding the mystery. (Not only is it a stretch but also a mixed metaphor. Oh well.)
http://reviews.roadbikereview.com/blog/why-you-should-be-rid...
Carbon vs Steel road bike frames.
Bicycle frames are high tech, especially carbon fiber ones. Hackers are all about high tech. The hack is that for most people that aren't elite racers, steel is still better for the price/performance ratio than carbon fiber, despite the advertising and bandwagon effects pushing carbon. So, the article is perfectly at home on hacker news!