Depression is different between people. I myself find I have a mix of emotions.
We have this idea that we either have it or we get rid of it and the
question came from that point of view….But there’s an ability to be
pierced to the heart by the sorrow of the world and your own regrets
without it dragging you down.
This can be applicable not only to losing someone to death, but also to the end of any relationship, especially if you did not truly want it to end. It changes you, and you learn to cope.
The uplifting part in this is that you grow as an individual, and you are more hardened to handle difficult things in the future.
I've found that any complaints about small things in my life generally go unsaid. Before my Mom died of cancer I would have perhaps talked about, "I can't believe this happened on <favorite reality show> last week, <rant />," I now let a lot of unpleasant things wash over me, knowing that there are fewer truly important items in the world worth getting riled up over.
Deep seated regret. The aftermath of an anxiety realized. The period after my worst fears come to life. Isolation. Abandonment. Powerlessness. Set adrift in an ocean of problems no one created, and no one can solve, never to return, never to set foot on dry land again. Perhaps with a meager ration of hope, that looks like it's going to burn off in the blistering sunlight of ordinary day-to-day struggles, amidst the windless doldrums of routine, before a sea of bad luck swallows me whole.
The way out is through, though we don't always make it home to normalcy in one peice.
You don't "recover" from the loss of a loved one. You don't get back to where you were before. You don't "get over" it, nor should you want to. Your life has changed and there is a big hole in it. But you do adjust to it. You do learn to cope with it and find a new way to live with it.
Sorry if that's not uplifting, but it's what I found.