I think what people are missing is it's the mindset of "willing to defend one's self, no matter the cost" that deters most people from messing with you. I was raised in the rural south and was brought up with the thought process "If they're bigger than you, get an equalizer." I was an openly nerdy loner, but I was not bullied, and only had to throw a couple of punches, generally to people outside my class who didn't know me and quickly backed off.

I find this mindset has served me well in adult life as well. Funny story, a few days ago I was at a dinner party and someone jokingly threatened me with a case knife. I immediately drew my knife and fork into "combat positions" without even thinking, which drew a "just kidding man" response and respect for the rest of the night.

Some people think they can act like we live in a totally "civil society" in some sort of "pretend you're in the world you dream of" practice, but it ignores the reality that there are bad actors in this world that will take advantage of that. Some times you just have to stand up for yourself, legally of course.

"...respect for the rest of the night."

Respect or fear? Dude, all I know about you is that comment and I don't want to have anything to do with you. I'm sure you're a great person and all, but....

Out of curiosity, while we're discussing escalation, at what point do you start being a "bad actor"?