I remember when I was a student, going to parties with my homies, some of them genetically blessed indeed. Even though these guys were very attractive, it was still hard to get girls to feel comfortable around them. I conjecture that went on inside these girls' minds was:
"yeah, these guys are quite handsome, but if the market is efficient, then they should have girlfriends or flings accompanying them, and since they are in a group of guys, there must be something wrong with them."
I adopted a different strategy. I started going to these parties accompanied by my best friend only, and a bunch of stunning eastern european exchange students I knew at the time. Oh boy, all of a sudden, it was so easy to get engaging conversations going with members of the opposite sex :-))) [insert evil smile here] I guess what the girls were thinking was:
- couple of guys and 5 gorgeous foreign girls
- the girls seem to be accompanying them on a voluntary basis, so there must be something interesting about those two guys
- if girls of that caliber hang out with them, then they're probably not assholes.
Enough of theories. It worked wonders. "Using" attractive out-of-my-league female friends as "social validation" to flirt girls who were more in my league at parties was one of the coolest things I ever did in my life. Call it a "social hack" if you will.
I knew about the cool "underground" parties. They benefited from my information. I benefited from their company. They met tons of guys. I met tons of girls. It was a win-win situation. I wouldn't call it a "mercenary way" (not that I am offended by that notion). I just think that in life there are positive-sum games to be played, and those are the games I like to play :-)
I'm a big believer in free will. The idea of moral absolutes have always seemed quite odd to me. In my experience the world is very rarely black and white, usually more shades of grey. Only those who can't handle the complexity introduced by ambiguity seem to need moral absolutes.
I would posit that women on average tend to perceive the world in a way that makes sensory information and emotion more salient than it is for men, and somehow men already in relationships seem more desirable when seen through this lens. But I could just be completely full of it.
A man can impregnate many woman in this same period of time. All of these woman have a good chance of creating offspring, so the main concern of an individual woman is finding a man who will be able to provide for her child. This is a complex requirement - it isn't necessarily sufficient to just look at a man to gauge his ability to secure resources. Also, the energy cost of becoming pregnant is extremely high for a woman. Therefore, the woman reacts based on a large number of variables. She also assumes that other woman are searching for a man based on similar requirements, so the fact that a man is surrounded by other woman increases his value as a potential mate.
I realize that this simplifies things quite a bit, but I think the fundamental argument is sound.