A: You're against gay marriage? So you don't think gay partners should share the same legal status when making medical decisions, in property rights, or work benefits?

B: Wow, I never thought about it that way. No, I think they should share all of those benefits.

A: So you're for gay marriage?

B: No, I just think all of those rights should be granted outside of the marital context.

Once you limit the government's role to recognizing a contract, albeit one that's common and standardized, between two adults, marriage becomes the domain of the church. If your church wants to deny marriage to homosexuals, the first amendment gives them the right to do that.

I wrote a long rant about this a while back: http://tommorris.org/posts/2555

Letting some citizens ride on the 'civil union' bus, and others on the 'marriage' bus is what's at issue. Its still wrong to discriminate in this way, especially if the majority vote to give themselves the better seats.

I imagine its hard to feel the humiliation of sitting in the back of the bus, if you never have to do it yourself. It took Rosa Parks to make it plain to all of us, that the institution was racist, intentionally belittling and wrong.

Easy to tell the good guys from the bad guys when you think in black and white, isn't it?

And you're wrong that anti-gay marriage = anti-gay. I take offence to that.

I don't give a damn about marriage in general. But I DO give a damn about gay folks, their rights and equality.

I have very dear gay friends, and care about them deeply. But I don't put marriage and their rights to make medical decisions in the same boat, and nor should you. Instead, you should be voting and fighting for those legal rights to be extended to same-sex couples, and leave marriage completely out of the equation.

"Marriage" is an old-fashioned tradition, very much about a bride and groom and the beginnings of starting a family, kids and all the rest. That's what it is.