This was not always the case.

Before the advent of central banking, cash was just as dodgy as Mt. Gox internal transactions. You were unlikely to be able to use cash more than five miles from the bank that issued it. Balance statements were purely arbitrary because you had no insight into your (unregulated) bank's books. In the 19th century, transactions across long distances looked more like hawala than anything the modern man would recognize as banking.

This satire was written by someone who does not understand what he or she is attempting to satirize.