I personally struggle with some of these issues, and while I feel my father shows many of the same symptoms, he happened to grow up in an extremely large family (5 brothers and a sister) which I think helped him to get past the socialization issues.
What I learned from a passing interest in social psychology and repeated examination of significant events in my life gradually imparted an awareness of why some difficulties kept recurring, and also something of an understanding of what brought me to each point along the way. It helped that a close friend was a counselor, who shared with me experiences she had with autistic clients. This was important for providing an objective contrast of the conclusions humans would reach in different situations. I never knew anything I shouldn't, regarding the specifics of an individual or who they were, but I learned enough to gain a certain perspective on how we ASD thinkers tend to think, and what that often overlooks.
Thus the short, useless answer is: by thinking. Funny thing is, I have so little interest in contemplation and reflection, it's amazing I've ever accomplished anything with them.
To me the important thing is a perspective that can only be imparted by experience or a like minded thinker. This is why I believe it is crucially important for me to raise my own biological children. By understanding where they are as they develop, I will be able to guide them in ways I needed by never had. What I know about how other ASD individuals think is incidental. Not something I particularly care about, but something I happened to notice after speaking with some, after gaining my own perspective on very different forms of cognition.
I feel this is a very important concept.
I have some personal experience with aspergers and ASD, and have learned a great deal about how such people look at the world and how that differs from those more neurally typical.
I intend to have children, but I would seriously reconsider bringing someone with my genes into the world without the benefit of my experienced guidance. I would be able to teach them so much that other parents would not even realize they needed to learn. Borderline cases in particular can leave people relatively normal in appearance (although no one who knew me ever called me normal) but completely blind to so much that they need to be able to see to function successfully in the world.
I know it well because there was so much that nobody realized that I needed to learn, and so much needless suffering that I now know is largely preventable. An aware parent with your own genes is irreplaceable.