Customer: "Our global market share is a pimple on the ass of our competitors. Are there any numbers ANYWHERE that can make us look like, at the least, a full-blown cyst?"

Marketing Exec: "Sure, let's look at the numbers. US...no. EU...no. Asia...no. Africa...no. Middle East...no. Austral--"

Customer: "Stop. Just stop."

Marketing Exec: "It's okay, getting your message and name out there is far more important than the actual numbers. Plus, we'll find positive numbers and trends that we'll plaster in the occasional release. We also still have the stats on individual countries to go through."

Customer: "Okay, let's go down the list and pick some. We've got our astroturfing contractor waiting."