In Mercurial, you can kindasorta have this if you do all your development on named branches, and only merge the named branches back into the default branch at these significant moments. Then, you can merge willy-nilly, without rebasing or otherwise destroying or lying about history, and distinguish ignorable work-in-progress merges from significant feature-complete merges by which branch they were on. Most query commands let you filter by branch, so you can easily do that.
For those not familiar with Mercurial, the difference that allows this is that Mercurial permanently records the name of the branch a commit was added to. That means there is an observable difference between merging A into B and merging B into A. This is not universally agreed to be a good feature, but it does allow this particular approach.
Then you just have to choose between having a single shared development branch, a branch per developer, a branch per story, a branch per task, etc, and come up with a coping strategy for any resulting proliferation of branches.
You could do exactly that; look into git-update-ref for how you could implement that so that garbage collection doesn't wipe out those dead ends (git-notes basically does what you would need to do).
Note that you would still be rewriting history, still rearranging the DAG, but you would have references to the old states. Basically like a permanent reflog, though perhaps with an interface tailored to this usage.
Just wanted to point out that rebasing is not just to remove or squash commits. I use it to: - _separate_ large commits into atomic, logical units - fixup changes missed the first time around - rewrite commit messages to ensure they're clear - reorder commits
Couldn't there be some way to just tag the "main" commits and mark the dead ends as "extraneous" rather than destroying them? And then have your history-viewing tool hide/squash the unmarked "invisible" commits by default and only expose them when specifically requested?
I mean, it seems to make more sense to just look at a blind alley of commits you made and just flag them all as a mistake rather than actually rearranging the DAG.