Re:Darkness
by bowerbird on Sunday September 08, 2013 @03:21PM
(#6349900)
i too came here to say "use a spell-checker".
because yes, you need to do that, and not just
expect that davedx did all of your work for you.
you still have a typo in the very first sentence!
and another closely follows, in the next paragraph.
i would also suggest you learn about em-dashes.
plus, aside from spelling, there is at least one
text error with a side-effect, and it is comical.
all of this detracts from the design point i think
was the purpose you had in mind with this exercise
-- the use of scrollmonitor.js to enhance the text.
as to that particular point, it seemed to me that
the switch back to a black-background occurred at
a point which was neither the best or most obvious,
namely the paragraph containing "day commonly does".
(which, by the way, is a phrase that sounds... odd;
indeed that whole sentence sounds rather clumsy, and
it's not the only one. but i'll give a pass on that,
since you've said that the piece isn't actually done.)
at any rate, i didn't even attempt to find the reason,
if there is one, why the shift didn't occur "correctly",
because the specifics of that could get very fuzzy fast,
but since it _is_ your point, you'll want to dig deep.
overall, though, i think that even despite these flaws,
you achieved the point you wanted, about scrollmonitor.
because yes, you need to do that, and not just expect that davedx did all of your work for you.
you still have a typo in the very first sentence!
and another closely follows, in the next paragraph.
i would also suggest you learn about em-dashes.
plus, aside from spelling, there is at least one text error with a side-effect, and it is comical.
all of this detracts from the design point i think was the purpose you had in mind with this exercise -- the use of scrollmonitor.js to enhance the text.
as to that particular point, it seemed to me that the switch back to a black-background occurred at a point which was neither the best or most obvious, namely the paragraph containing "day commonly does".
(which, by the way, is a phrase that sounds... odd; indeed that whole sentence sounds rather clumsy, and it's not the only one. but i'll give a pass on that, since you've said that the piece isn't actually done.)
at any rate, i didn't even attempt to find the reason, if there is one, why the shift didn't occur "correctly", because the specifics of that could get very fuzzy fast, but since it _is_ your point, you'll want to dig deep.
overall, though, i think that even despite these flaws, you achieved the point you wanted, about scrollmonitor.
-bowerbird