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Re:Darkness by bowerbird on Sunday September 08, 2013 @03:21PM (#6349900)
i too came here to say "use a spell-checker".

because yes, you need to do that, and not just expect that davedx did all of your work for you.

you still have a typo in the very first sentence!

and another closely follows, in the next paragraph.

i would also suggest you learn about em-dashes.

plus, aside from spelling, there is at least one text error with a side-effect, and it is comical.

all of this detracts from the design point i think was the purpose you had in mind with this exercise -- the use of scrollmonitor.js to enhance the text.

as to that particular point, it seemed to me that the switch back to a black-background occurred at a point which was neither the best or most obvious, namely the paragraph containing "day commonly does".

(which, by the way, is a phrase that sounds... odd; indeed that whole sentence sounds rather clumsy, and it's not the only one. but i'll give a pass on that, since you've said that the piece isn't actually done.)

at any rate, i didn't even attempt to find the reason, if there is one, why the shift didn't occur "correctly", because the specifics of that could get very fuzzy fast, but since it _is_ your point, you'll want to dig deep.

overall, though, i think that even despite these flaws, you achieved the point you wanted, about scrollmonitor.

-bowerbird

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