I very rarely let my kids win anything. You can play games of chance or setup situations where they can win. In the situation described in the blog post it's really a judgement call for the father - if the child was able to present a good argument, then she wins.
Kids whose parents let them win consistently have their world views shattered when they find out that they aren't the best at everything. These children are usually poor sports at winning and losing.
My boys are pretty happy when they beat their old man and I'm proud of them when they do.
Okay, "let them win" might have been a bit hyperbolic. Instead, how about this: handicap yourself so you are always a surmountable challenge. People learn best when winning is "just" a matter of putting all their effort into something and being ingenuitive. If something's below this level, they aren't learning much, and if it's above this level, the challenge seems insurmountable, and so http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Learned_helplessness kicks in.
This is the approach I try to take. I explained it poorly, but that's what I meant when I said "setup situations where they can win". But just letting them win so they don't have to feel sad about losing? Not with me.
One of my boys will call a foot race to the car when he's close enough to where he thinks he can beat me. When he says go, I'm coming full tilt. Or when we practice baseball I'll set up a contest - hit a ball past me and we go for ice cream.
Re:How to Teach a Child to Argue
by stcredzero on Saturday May 30, 2009 @02:57AM
(#633353)
The key is "rarely" vs. "never"
"Kids whose parents let them win consistently have their world views shattered when they find out that they aren't the best at everything."
The corollary to that, is that kids who never win quickly realize that playing the game is pointless, and give up.
Some parents have a problem with this. I remember a conversation where a woman volunteered that she completely suppressed her kids every time. She was absolutely proud of this fact.