The key for me is the stuff like "fill my water glass" and "check please" - you can never get the waiter's eye for those, it seems.

I like what the Bubba Gump Shrimp Co does in this regard - a simple red/green two-sided sign that you flip to red when you want a waiter, otherwise they will ignore you. Beautiful.

I agree. That also takes care of the overly attentive server as well. I had lunch with some co-workers a few weeks ago and the server stopped by our table so many times that we could barely have a conversation. It was mostly to ask us how everything was... over... and over... and over. I appreciate check ins but there are upper limits to their effectiveness. :)

Yea, that's one of the big problems I've pondered too.

Which brings up another thought: Does a party tip less if they do the ordering themselves?