Our wedding photographer was great; she gave us an unlimited licence to the photos (she also retained her rights), and also gave us a DVD of the RAW files in addition to her mastered JPGs.

The whole thing didn't seem like a big deal to her. In fact her web-site lists what you'll get, and while we did ask about the RAWs it wasn't a big negotiation point (we did pay for the DVD at a small markup like you'd expect).

I don't think RAWs should be a "normal" part of the deal as 99% of people wouldn't know what to do with them. But I do consider a liberal licence to be par for the course (in particular as that photographer might go out of business, and you might need to print your photos again years or decades from the original event).

So to the OP: Find a different photographer. The licence thing is unacceptable. The RAW thing is understandable but I bet you can find someone who is more amenable to that.

PS - If you get the RAW files, don't try to print them 1:1. They exist to be mastered, not to be used as-is.