Thanks for posting this. I sometimes feel similarly, even though I don't have a co-founder. But basically I have the same issues and fears.

I'm afraid people here are right about the weed. I drink an unhealthy amount of beer (1-2 liters) every day to help me relax. I know it's fucking up my head in the long run and it would be better to get off it for a while to clear my head, but every night after a long day, even if it wasn't as productive as I'd like (actually especially if it wasn't) I go fck this sht, I need a beer!

I'm still in the process of launching my first product, living on savings, so I too feel like being in a financial stranglehold - either this works out or I'll have to go into prostitution or something, because just as you say, there is no freaking way I can go back to a 9 to 5 programmer job, taking order from some boss or clients or even just getting up every morning to show up at some office and stay there all day.

I envy people who already have achieved financial freedom with their businesses, there is so much in life I would want to do (go scuba diving as an example), but I feel quite penniless and very limited. A horrible feeling that makes me feel depressed every other day.

Sometimes I'd just like to "break out" but I wouldn't know where to?! I already quit my job to work for myself and be my own boss. I guess this struggle is just the price I'm paying for the freedom that is hopefully to come...

Anyway man, stay strong, you're not alone.