I didn't say they are mentally ill, I said they have low self esteem and therapy might help them.

That's the implication when you say they need therapy.

Absolute nonsense. Therapy is very useful to many people who are not mentally ill. I would venture to say that most people who see therapists are not mentally ill. If you think "mental illness" when somebody says "therapist", you probably need to do some reevaluation.

Out of genuine interest (it's hard to convey tone via comments sometimes), can you expand on this comment a bit?

What do you consider mental illness to be? And what is therapy in your view?

The term 'mentally ill' in my view has been stigmatized quite a bit, and being 'unwell' mentally does not mean you are crazy, but that you have issues you feel you need to deal with. Isn't that the point of seeing a therapist?

An interesting blog on this topic here:

http://www.theage.com.au/executive-style/culture/blogs/all-m...

Reasons that you could see a thearapist, that would not traditionally be considered mental illness in casual conversation, can include: coping with occupational stress, coping with grief, preparing for anticipated grief, coming to terms with mortality, (often for children) learning what mortality is, coping with changes in lifestyle (including divorce, marriage, birth of a child, birth of a special needs child, inability to have a child, moves to unfamiliar locations, moves to unfamiliar cultures, loss of religion, loss of a job, release from prison, release from the service), (as mentioned by erikpukinskis) feelings of inadequacy or low self-esteem, ...

Just about anything people may have talked to priests about in the past they can now talk to therapists about.

Now, if you want to define mental illness such that it covers all of these things, and all the other reasons to see a therapist, that is fine. Words are just what you make of them; you can, of course, define them as you see fit.

However, if you redefine mental illness in such a way then I can see really no justification for using the negative connotations that mental illness normally holds to facilitate mock outrage ("Writing off people who want or provide a diamond ring as mentally ill (as many people in this thread seem to be doing) is silly.") Instead of criticizing erikpukinskis for "writing off those people as mentally ill", perhaps you should instead explain why you do not agree with his suggestion that low self-esteem could be a factor.

Even if you don't redefine mental illness that way the negative connotations are bullshit.

Agreed, it would make sense to expect them, culturally, though they would of course be bullshit regardless.

That is why in Los Angeles there are many who drive very expensive cars but live in tiny apts.

Commitment, really? How does it signal commitment? Are men that give big diamond rings less likely to cheat or get divorced?

It signals they're willing and able to spend a lot on their future wives, which is part of what most people consider commitment.

Man this thread is killing me. Apparently I need to start wearing my salary and Mint.com balance on a name-sticker on my shirt to attract more mates. And then when I get one, make them wear a sticker indicating that they are mine, because without that, surely they would just be scooped up by the next person looking to own another person.

Welcome to the "brutal truth" of applying economic theory and armchair psychology to human interaction. I sometimes hypothesise that the people peddling these notions do it because they really do see life as an economic system and consequently, no arguing with them would change their opinion, because they're obviously right. Meaning, I wonder if this is a simple case of "I expect others to experience things the same way I experience them". However, I can't imagine someone really thinking that way. But that's maybe because I don't.

Enjoy your stay. Good luck and have fun!

> Writing off people who want or provide a diamond ring as mentally ill (as many people in this thread seem to be doing) is silly

No, wasting money on a valueless shiny rock is silly. But let's just keep advocating people 'keep up the tradition' instead.