Another cool product is Disruptor - they have figured out a good, fast way to do message passing that minimizes the need for concurrent data structures between worker threads. (Provided of course you can model your app in that way). Under the hood, they have some crazy dep memory barrier based stuff, but for most of the programmers on a team, thinking about that stuff is just not needed. (as an aside, I think if Beautiful Code 2 was being written, I think Disruptor should be included, that source code is downright inspiring.)

The point being, once you have a good, trusted and vetted set of primitives, and are willing to put a little effort into working in a paradigm someone else sets, you get a lot of benefit. This is no different than using RoR or Django instead of rolling your own web framework.