A lot of people would disagree with you, perhaps most people. A tablet actually is VERY similar to a large portable smartphone - it doesn't fit in your pants pocket, but it does fit in almost any other purse.
In fact, Samsung makes an extremely popular device - the Samsung Note, which is halfway between a phone and a tablet. Do play with one. "nothing like" is a strong statement that I believe has no support in reality.
> So obviously nobody will ever buy a tablet. QED.
The logic that leads to that is flawed, even if one does accept the (wrong, IMHO) premise that a tablet is nothing like as portable as a smartphone.
And my answer to "are there any people ..." is simply "we'll soon see". I don't claim to know a definite answer -- unlike, e.g. Ballmer in response to the iPhone and iPad.
I'm not particularly optimistic about Surface sales myself, but it's an extremely interesting approach. I can certainly imagine that version 3 will be a killer product, and I hope it is, but I'm not putting any money on it.
A tablet is nothing like as portable as a smartphone (which also has 3G), and nothing like as fast, as powerful or as capable as a laptop (which also has a keyboard).
Are there any people who are looking for something that's sort-of-a-smartphone and sort-of-a-laptop, and are willing to get a device that is not competitive as either?
Especially as they already own both a laptop and a phone ;-)
So obviously nobody will ever buy a tablet. QED.