I suspect he already used up all the plan B in his immediate vicinity. I feel for the dude, he clearly let shit go to his head. I knew things weren’t going well for him when he put on the leather jacket. It’s basically putting on the “bad boy” costume. If you haven’t purified your soul before donning the jacket, it will consume you, like the one ring.

We can just pretend I pasted a funny version of the "One Ring to Rule Them All" verse here. I won't subject y'all to generated stuff that bad.