> My spouse and I have a rule that if we think a discussion is going to be emotionally charged, we have it over text in different rooms.

I've done this myself with my wife and I.

> It sounds autistic

Well, I'm autistic, and she has a very high traumatic intelligence. She reads my body language, expressions, movements more than what I say. And she says things... but it's not actually what she means. By us writing/typing things out, we're able to communicate without stray signals creating noise.