One of a key tenants of the parenting style my wife and I use (positive discipline) is that you encourage and do not praise. The difference is subtle, but it focuses on the action and not the person. For example, when one of our kids do well in school, we don't say "you're so smart!". Rather, we say "you worked hard for that, good job! keep it up!". When a child fails, we say "I understand you feel bad. What do you think you could have done better?"