It's a story I've seen a lot. Proper care for those people in such situations is a hard full-time job on its own, and something we in society are mostly undervaluing.

We really suck at late stage life planning and discussions.

I'm sorry for all the difficult times you've experienced so far and the hard times to come. It's a lot to give. Be sure to look for what benefits you/they quality for. Be sure to still spend time to ensure you stay mentally healthy as well.