Well, thanks for telling me what bothered you. I think I was just surprised to see the question of hostility being brought up at all. Certainly my words can be read in as many ways as there are readers, thus in my head that question was sort of off-topic so I think I didn't pay attention to how important it was to you and possibly others.

I am not actively or passively hostile to women, at least to any such extent that I can recognize myself or that can be recognized by my friends, so the whole matter simply hasn't been on my radar at all.

HN can be pretty mysogynistic. (I have ben told other women have left because they find it unpalatable and I know that a lot of women downplay or hide their gender on HN because it is seen as a problem.) So, the environment here tends to bias perception. If you want support, you will need to make extra effort to avoid even an appearance of attacking the roles of women while talking about your concerns about the roles of men. Women are widely regarded to be second class citizens, something you no doubt know. The language you are using is more likely to be acceptable to women or other more "feminine"/not "hard science" types. It will not go over well with most members here. Not being careful of how your remarks will be perceived by the minority that might take you seriously practically guarantees you will not be anything but attacked.

I know from firsthand experience. You can check my remarks for how I am going down in flames elsewhere on HN today. Unfortunately, many years of history have painted me into a corner that, in practice, I don't know the way out of dven though in theory I know the general principles which should work.

I hope you find a path forward in discussing gender issues with people, whether here or elsewhere. I have long found such topics fascinating. But, yes, they are super touchy topics.