We deny with all force this slanderous libel that evil people keep spreading because of their senseless hatred. Water is not just not wet, it's in fact the dryest imaginable substance. We have tested it thoroughly in our laboratories- which as everybody knows are the most advanced in the world- and we have found in it not the slightest amount of wetness. I have personally spoken with the US ambassador about this matter and he reaffirmed the complete trust of his country in the absolute dryness of water.