I take your point, but aren't most social interactions technically manipulative through this lens?

If you wear nice clothes and exercise, then are you just trying to manipulate people into thinking you have taste and are attractive?

If you work hard at your job and are responsive to your boss's requests, then are you just manipulating them into thinking you're a good worker and giving you a raise?

These tools can certainly be misused (see shitty salespeople), but I don't "attempting to convince others that you are cool and likable" is problematic and manipulative.

Just don't fake it. That's the part people have a problem with. I just read it as "if you want people to care about your shit, then it's only fair you care about theirs first."