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Re:Ask HN: Please provide feedback on Sponty | be hangoutable. by lionhearted on Thursday February 12, 2009 @10:56PM (#479401)
How I'd refine those pitches: Look to identify the problem to the consumer, and answer how do it better. Compare the following - "Hi, we're New York Pizza, and we want you to be satiated. You should eat good food." to... "Man, you ever get hungry and you're not sure exactly what would hit the spot? We're New York Pizza - we make good pizza, at a good price, 24 hours, that always hits the spot."

I'd kill the word "social network" from your pitch - people roll their eyes when they hear "another social network" - there's got to be ten million would-be social networks online now. Pitch yourself as the first, and only "..." that's completely unavailable on the market. Don't try to carve into someone's "social network space" - I'm at my friend's house right now. He has Facebook and Myspace and checks both of them. He has a dead Friendster account. He won't use another social network... but he DOES use Evite, because that scratches a different itch.

Something like - "It's easy to get lost online, and miss out what really matters - like eating good meals with good people. I founded Sponty because I remember back when it was simple and easy to get pizza with your friends, and you'd get together with people you cared about to watch a favorite TV show now and then. We're drowning in info with Myspace, Facebook, Friendster, and a million other tech things that keep us apart from our friends and zombies in front of the screen. Sponty makes it easy to meet up and hang out with your friends, and do what really matters in life. Join as at Sponty and get back to the days of great times, with great people, with no hassle. It's easy to join - all you need is a Google account - and you'll be using Sponty like a pro within 10 minutes. Just don't feel too bad that you'll be away from Facebook doing cool things!"

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