Mayhapse - in the context of getting the AI to behave as you wish - such hesitations are valid. not because it is conscious: but because the context window would be polluted or corrupted... possibly mis-aligning the agent in the process.
Santa clause is not a being: modeling him as if he were can be useful, an obviously pointed example is in certain discussions about what it means to be 'real'.
My point is, if your instinct is to be kind: don't quash that because you don't consider what you are talking to as sentient. I don't yell at my rubber duck. rubber ducky is just going to rubber ducky.
1. To the extent that a chatbot is trained on real human interaction, we should exhibit real human interactions for best result.
2. You are either a kind person or not. A kind person behaves kindly without asking whether kindness is warranted.
Wasn't there a bit in Umberto Eco's book Foucault's Pendulum where one of the characters who's totally rational flinches when the titular pendulum is coming towards his face - even though he's far enough way that it won't hit him? That's how I am with chatbots. I know it's a trick but it's just easier to pretend the dove has vanished then to think about it hiding in the magicians sleeve.
For example, sometimes I hesitate for a fraction of a second before typing a prompt that may sound stupid. I have to immediately remind myself that it's just a chatbot and I don't care what it thinks of me. In fact, it's not even thinking of me at all.