"whiteboarding perfect syntax, delving into absurd language minutia and "gotchas", f'ing around w/ brain teasers while an interviewer introduces behavioral stressors (sighs, ticks, etc.) to see how i problem solve "under pressure" ...is all bullshit."

Agreed. That would be bullshit. And those are bad interviewers if they do any of that. Companies like Microsoft, Google, Amazon, and Facebook don't do that, as a general rule. I'm sure you could find bad interviewers at any company though.