Probably something like Boy Interrupted[0]. Sad story and something I can sympathize with having some of the same feelings very early on despite having a rather normal upbringing and siblings not showing signs of it.

0: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boy_Interrupted

It's incredible that my last four comments are down voted to -1, for engaging in genuine dialog across topics.

@dang it's hard to believe that I'm not being brigaded.

My advice as a long time participant here: pay no attention to upvotes or downvotes. Sometimes they seem to be completely unrelated to whatever you said. Stay curious.

And several of your comments before that were upvoted. Are we to regard those as suspicious?

Of the recent downvoted comments, one was a complaint about moderation that anyone who has paid attention to dang's track record here over more than a decade knows is baseless. (And if you think the top comment on any thread is a bad one, you can always choose to be a helpful contributor to the community and email us to let us know).

Of the other two of your downvoted comments, none were downvoted by the same users.

The choice is yours to make an effort to observe the guidelines and be a positive contributor to HN, or alternately to keep using HN for political/ideological battle and complain to the moderators when things don't go your way, but it's clear what others in the community want to see.

> when things don't go your way,

You're a ridiculous person.

> or alternatively to keep using HN for political/ideological battle

Which ones? The one about ML and programming languages? Or the one about asking a genuine question about an experience with childhood depression? Or the one observing that you and dang unevenly apply moderation rules? Or the one commenting about how you can't say the word for the literal definition of fascism on this site without getting downvoted? Or the one about dishwashers?

Where's my ideological battle?

You have no credibility. You unlike dang, don't do a good job. Go ahead and ban me or put me on a cool down to prove my point.

> What is the issue is the hostile and inflammatory style of commenting towards other community members and HN as a whole.

Please.

> having established a history of participating on HN with this persona of being a brave combatant for, I don't know, some worldview or philosophy that you seem to be fighting for;

What? Just because I have a different worldview than you, doesn't mean I am fighting for or am a brave combatant of anything. But it's extremely telling that you think that, and revealing about your own views. And furthermore troubling that you are a moderator here.

Maybe you should read up on the clustering phenomena wiki and understand your own personal biases a little more.

> I have a different worldview than you

You don't know what my worldview is or what dang's worldview is and honestly I don't know what your worldview is and this is never relevant to how we moderate HN. We want HN to be a place where difficult topics can be discussed and all perspectives can be represented. That's what we optimise HN for, with the caveat that the guidelines foremost ask us all to "be kind" in comments. It's notable that you keep complaining about some kind of "bias" without being able to point to any evidence for your claims, and that all of your comments in this subthread ultimately resort to ad hominem. If there was any substance to your claims you would have presented it by now. The entire history of HN submissions and comments is available for anyone to download and analyse.

Let's be clear what's going on here: you've claimed to be a victim; you can't demonstrate exactly how you've been made a victim; when we investigate your claims, which we've taken time to do in good faith, we find that, no, there's no evidence for your claims of victimhood; when we tell you that, you respond with ad hominem attacks.

Please just observe the guidelines like everyone here is expected to do.

I've been here on this account for five years. Making me out to be some kind of serial complainer and self-proclaimed victim, of which I've done exactly twice across a litany of diverse and continued conversation and dialog on this website is ludicrous.

Your continued aggressive dismissal of milquetoast commentary against your moderation style is offensive.

Your characterization of my posts here as a warrior championing some cause is similarly offensive.

Your words, not mine:

> ... having established a history of participating on HN with this persona of being a brave combatant ...

How kind, and full of good faith.

You clearly feel something towards my worldview. Your language is charged, you have opinions directed at me. To be clear: I don't care about you at all. But I do find it amusing to watch such a visceral reaction to a general commentary, "the mods are biased, and shape the bias of this website."

You initiated all this. We've investigated and considered all your claims, established them to be unfounded or baseless, and still you keep going.

Your worldview is irrelevant. This place’s entire worth is built on the fact that a broad range of worldviews are represented, and our moderation philosophy is intended to allow everyone’s worldview to be fairly represented.

We're responding to your claims only because if there is any basis to them we want to know so we can address any issues and reform the way we operate. We’re actively working to do that continually. But it’s increasingly clear that neither claim holds up to any scrutiny and every comment you add just generates more noise and no signal.

As someone who has been seriously depressed from an early age, I can tell you that it looks exactly like the DSM/ICD criteria - a lack of energy, loss of appetite, loss of interest in all activities, insomnia, feelings of worthlessness, suicidal thoughts and pervasive sadness and hopelessness.

Some people would rather believe that pediatric depression isn't real, rather than confront the reality of a loved and cared-for child who is constantly tearful, severely underweight, sleeps for three or four hours a night, spends most of their time staring into space and frequently talks about wanting to die.

Depression is an utterly dreadful illness and should not be confused with normal sadness or unhappiness.