Perhaps this is something that Slate can solve better than Tesla.
There just isn't a lot of options other than adhesive for installing a light bar considering the windshield consumes all of the forward facing real estate (as the roof slopes back from the apex).
Many vehicles with light bars have them mounted onto a standoff bracket. Why not design a standoff that mounts after the apex (back sloped part), using a piece with an angle complementary to the roof slope, providing a flat surface for the light bar to mount on? Pretty straightforward and honestly exactly what I would expect as an official accessory to a $100K vehicle.
Btw, does Tesla pay you for all your white knighting?
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Perhaps it's about minimizing the installation cost at the dealership.
The irony is that you'd imagine that an off-road roof mounted light would be something that you should be able to tighten when you are ... off-road.
I guess field serviceability isn't a design goal for these "off-road" trucks, but appearing "off-road" when going glamping is.