Re:How to Reinforce Impostor Syndrome
by shrikant on Thursday September 27, 2012 @08:22PM
(#4583673)
From here perhaps:
> The point is to praise children's efforts, not their intelligence, she said.
Re:How to Reinforce Impostor Syndrome
by petercooper on Thursday September 27, 2012 @10:54PM
(#4584092)
It wasn't that, but it does seem to tie into that whole idea for sure. Good link.
Good suggestion. I never really liked using 'deserve' for this anyway.
I agree, using the term 'earned', rather than 'deserved' is an excellent suggestion. For some reason 'deserve' has always bothered me. I believe in working for and earning what I receive. Deserve in my mind implies something given to you, or perhaps something you feel you are entitled to, rather than something you earned. So for me, earning something would provide a greater sense of accomplishment/achievement, than being told I 'deserved' it. Though I've never heard the reference to 'Imposter Syndrome'. That to me seems like a case of low self-confidence?
I read something recently that suggested using language like "You really earnt that [whatever]" when complimenting people. That is, you define the merit in terms of the person's effort which, hopefully, the recipient of the compliment is less able to deny. We often deserve nice things, but when we think we earnt them it's a more concrete achievement that's harder to wave away with impostor syndrome.