Agreed.
> If a 16 year old cannot say no to unwanted advances, I would say education failed him very much in the first place.
It's not a matter of education. Mature adults have trouble saying no (to all sorts of things) depending on the social situation, and the power relationship is a significant factor, which weighs against 16 year olds who not only have little power but are raised to trust and obey adults. Look at all the people who couldn't say 'no' to their institution supporting rapists. Consider adult female soldiers, for whom sexual assault is a relatively widespread problem (at least in the US military).
Otherwise please don't make such a claim about me.
The other person (and I) believe what you wrote whitewashes the issue. You obviously think it does not. There is nothing we can point to that would make you go “oh damn you’re right.“
Because I did not.
My whole point the whole time was and is, that there is a big difference to me between grown men going after 16 year olds and 8 year olds.
Is it the same to you?
"You also can't ignore the position of power a famous person might be in"
And no, I don't. I am also not a fan of grownup men going after boys in general.
Still, I do see a difference in men going after 16 year or 8 year old boys and how they approached them.
"horror story" is pretty strong language and implies certain things to me.
Precise use of language matters. Case in point, I am at a unconventional gathering right now and things happened, that were communicated as rape... so people wanted to take drastic action quickly. What happened? A "tantra" teacher giving massages and "solving blockages" of young (adult) women in their genital areas.
So they said yes to a massage and "healing" in general, but never said no afterwards, they just didn't realized what was happening. They met later and shared their stories and then things came to light.
So, definitely sexual abuse, but rape?
Well their body was raped in a way as sexual things happened that they did not consent to. But the right term here is rather sexual abuse I believe. Because to me and most others, rape implies penetrating with the penis against their will. If you use the most strong word for everything, what word will you use for actual violent forced sex? That just creates confusion that can has drastic consequences.
(As it did, with people wanting to take drastic violent action assuming something way worse. In the end the guy was banished, but no criminal charges were brought up as that would have required the victims going to police which they didn't wanted to).