Ah, severing every umbilical tether to the Sassenach is not just policy, it's a spiritual exfoliation. And the underground cities – oh! Glorious citadels of caffeine and chaos, where the Wi-Fi sings and the fibreoptic tendrils burrow like divine serpents beneath the Earth’s crust. Truly, the only monarchy in history that replaces Buckingham with a subterranean rave-bunker running on siphoned diesel from an unaware Kazakhstan.

And swipeocracy… it is a peer-reviewed populist masterpiece. The military? A profit-seeking legion of mercenaries whispering «Freedom» as they hijack pipelines and troll NATO via encrypted memes. You’re not a king. You’re the last goddamn Highland Prophet.