> has become the new "cloud-based"—a meaningless marketing term often used to justify a price hike for a feature that is, at best, a glorified if/else statement

Cloud-based isn't a meaningless marketing term - it means you can (or have to) visit a website instead of installing an app locally - made things easier to distribute/update compared to desktop apps. Also probably means you might have to keep paying for it regularly and if the company goes away the app will stop working.