"Normal" people (whatever that means) tend to forget things quite quickly, and for us it's really hard when states change and contracts change. Meaning that if e.g. in a discussion 3 months ago we casually agreed upon "I do task X and you do task Y" then this will be the assumed state for autistic people until the end of time, because that's what we agreed upon.
When other people at work communicate their feelings, have a bad day and don't want to do those things, or are just lazy about it... Then this is a breach of a social contract. And dealing with those breaches of contracts without getting very defensive very quickly about it is really a huge problem for a lot of autistic people I've spoken with. We tend to spiral quickly into a defensive argument that won't help other involved parties and it tends to escalate into a "mudfight" instead of a debate quickly.
I just wish that a lot of therapy would help prepare you for these situations of misunderstood (or misagreed upon) situations more. You can compensate for them for a small degree, but they put a lot of burden on us because it's quite a big deal if the state of assumptions changes.
Additionally, talking in conversations about the assumed outcome first before you get into detail would help a lot. Do you need emotional support? Do you want to feel that we are together in this? Do you need a practical solution? Do you need a change in what we agreed upon?
This way we can prepare much easier for what's about to come.
Also don't use sayings like "you always do X" in those conversations when it is not always, because autistic people intend to interpret these as accusations very quickly because they sound excessive and are huge trigger points for us, because they are essentially lies. If you say instead something like "I feel like you do never X" we can realize that it's more about the perception and how to improve our contributions, because we can keep the discussion about how to balance each party's contributions to the task at hand.
Tangentially, I hate that people express hollow intentions, like “We should definitely hang out some time.” Why would you say that, when it's not your intention? Of course, I understand that people say such things because of social conditioning. But, such language tends to upset people regardless of neurotype. One could simply say “It was nice to see you. Goodbye.” It would be all right.
I am not autistic personally but working in tech and being into field-associated hobbies, I have a much more autism-dense social circle than the average person. This was awkward for me at first because it felt like I was either constantly irritated or being irritating to others by following my standard learned social conventions.
Once I changed my expectations to clarify and verify intent instead of derive and assume intent from others, this immediately stopped. Applying the same changes in social interaction with people who are not on the spectrum has actually felt like it leads to less misunderstandings and hurt feelings as well. I’m left wondering if the parts of human interaction that created these standards that autistic people find so frustrating might not even exist anymore and the rest of us have been upholding conventions that ultimately make life harder for us, just because we were taught to do so.